There has to be a point?

I would like very much to find and consume a delicious chocolate milkshake.

Unfortunately, I am in my boring-assed class. And it will make my body fat. And I am supposed to be refraining from dairy products at this time.

Here for you is a small list of the things I like:

Warm dairy products.
Chocolate milkshakes
Dogs
Wedding dresses that are not too poofy
Tiny little brown babies
Other babies too
The television Programme named "24"

Yesss

Lee & Rich
Originally uploaded by ramtower.

I want it

Ceremony
Originally uploaded by ramtower.

Flickr of the day

CRW_8742
Originally uploaded by reddragon303.

Okay bridesmaids: there's your example

A note to The Couch

I could say that I am grateful for my family and friends, or the wonderful man who has brought so much joy into my life, but this Thanksgiving I want to give mad props to the namesake of this here blog: the red couch.

Dear Red Couch,

I love you so much, in all your lumpy, comfy glory. This Thanksgiving, I will try extra hard not to spill turkey on your stain resistant fibers.

You see, I lived in Mexico for two years, as you may or may not know. People always think of Mexico as this warm, sunny place where you never have to wear a coat. Those people are lacking in knowledge, oh couch.

Depending on where you are, the weather does change and it isnt often pretty. In Baja California where I lived, there did exist a winter. That winter was cold. It was not as cold as Oregon winters, but here's the thing: WE HAD NO HEAT. I lived in a place without heat. Also, you had to go outside to get from one room to another. It didnt matter anyway because it was as cold in our rooms as it was outside.

I once went for 2 weeks straight without taking my coat off. How did you shower? You ask. Thanks for asking. I didnt shower. The shower was outside too.

Anyhoo, you are probably wondering where my point is. Thanks for being patient. My friend Jesse and I used to have to get up early to take the kids to school ( I worked at an orphanage, you know). We would come home at around 7 AM and the ranch would be deserted. Jesse and I used to love watching the Today Show on the microscopic tv set in the kitchen at the ranch. If you jammed a fork in it in just the right place, you could just barely make out Katie Couric's face, but we still sat enraptured.

Sometimes it was so cold, I would bring in my sleeping bag and lie on the kitchen counter to watch it. How often do you incorporate lying on a kitchen counter, watching morning television in your sleeping bag into your life? Not that often my friend.

So ANYWAY, I remember that one of the hardest things for me to deal with while I was there was the fact that there was no place to curl up and get really cozy and warm. There was no place that was clean and quiet to rest. A simple little thing like that can really start to take a toll on a person after a while. I remember dreaming about it, remembering what it was like to curl up by a fire on a warm, toasty couch, much like yourself.

I took a long time to say it, but I just really want you to know how much your cushy and beautifully red presence brings into my life. Thanks for always being there after a long day.

Love,

Kate

Flickr of the day

waiting for....
Originally uploaded by subhasish.

1) I am sick. Again. I feel as though there are two very cute, but annoying toddlers giving my lungs a tight hug. The little brats won't let go.

2) The cleaning supply place next door is painting their building. That means we have potty mouthed painters dropping ladders and cracking jokes right outside our windows. I don't think they realize how close they really are to us. Its like they are right in our living room. One of them just said, "You know when you half ass something? You do a fucking patch up job on something and call it good? I just fuckin' did that". Excellent. I'll be letting your employer know.

3) The toddlers are squeezing harder. Go watch this. I particularly like the recording of LBJ talking about his butthole.

Napoleon

Napoleon
Originally uploaded by Miss Lane.

I've decided to start posting Flickr photos I like. Here's one.

Hollerdays

Normally the holidays for me are full of trying to make everyone happy with the amount of time I spend with them. I mean, full of joy and laughter.

Now that Keith and I are getting married, there are even more people to divide precious holiday time between. Keith and I are seriously considering cloning ourselves in order to not piss anyone off.

In light of this, my mother decided to invite my father to Thanksgiving dinner. I will be spending Thanksgiving with both of my parents. Together. I don't remember ever doing this before. My brain is going to explode.

Keith will be in California, safely outside of the blast radius.

Have a happy holiday!

Token Minorities
Originally uploaded by Shagano.

This is what I hope my wedding doesnt turn into

Let's see how the ads react to this entry

I am currently sitting in the library, "studying" on one of the "quiet" floors.

The following is written in varying degrees of appalling handwriting on my icky, germ ridden study table:

"American chicks blubber boobs"

"American chicks with heavy boobs rock!"

"Eskimo chicks with cold boobs"

"Russian chicks with tight boobs"

"Canadian chicks with furry boobs"

"Asian chicks with fake bobs (sic) rule!"

"I am so glad I don't attend this low intelligence university"

"Ignorant people are a waste of DNA. You should know"

"No, YOU should know."



Ahh, what a delightful Smorgasbord.

Dog professions, among other things

In case you haven't noticed, I am now a whore. Look. I don't have a job, okay? A girl's gotta pay the rent. I’ve found the new ads helpful, however, with their offerings of wedding centerpieces and other god-awful traditional wedding necessities.

I am currently sitting, numb-butted in my Social Work class. The boring factor is already through the roof, and we haven't even really gotten underway in this 3 hour class.

There is a class presentation going on, and the presenters are nervous as all heck. I can't really hear what they are saying, except for the occasional "uh, sorry, okay, hehe, next slide".

Little do they know, half of the class is blogging, and therefore not paying attention, while the other half is doodling or sleeping/drooling.

There’s a legally blind woman in this class who, on the first day, shoved her hand down another classmate’s bra. Apparently the girl had a tag hanging out of her shirt, and the woman helpfully tucked it in, but went a little too far. Then she proceeded to tell the freaked out classmate how gorgeous she looked. I feel guilty for being annoyed by the blind woman, but I really am. I don’t feel like any of her annoying behavior has anything to do with her disability, so its okay to hate her. She monopolizes the class discussions, interrupts and corrects the instructor, and shoves her hand down people’s bras. Her poor, bored seeing eye dog farts a lot during class and has little doggy nightmares. He’s all mange-y and stinky. I feel bad for him. I think I would probably hate being a seeing eye dog. I don’t think I’d like to be a fire-dog either. There would be a lot of stress in that profession. I might like to be a drug-sniffing dog, though. That would be totally cool. I would feel like I was making a positive change agent in our society, just by using my nose. If I had a nose-related accident, however, my career would be over, and that would be a bummer. I would have to take a job as a guard dog in a train yard or something.

I just tuned back in to the presentation, and the dude said, “they underestimated the breath of the profession”

What was I talking about?

Who needs 'Frisco anyway?

Right on

From the Portland Mercury

I love these things. Thanks Taylor

Just imagine it

Honey, how would you feel about having chickens at the wedding?

Live chickens?

Yeah.

You mean like in the ceremony, or at the reception?

Well, at the reception, of course.

How many are we talking here?

About 70 or so.

70 head of chickens at the wedding?

Yeah.

Who would be responsible for driving them to the reception site?

I would

In your suit?

Yeah, we could keep them at your mom's house and I could run over and get them

70 chickens at my mom's house?

Yeah, it would add a farmy feel to the reception. If I can't get married on my farm, I'll bring the farm to the wedding.

I don't know, they shit a lot. But they would be cute in little tuxes. AND, we could serve them up for the guests at dinner.

Ooh, yeah, and it could be a whole chicken themed wedding!

Chicken centerpieces, chicken attendants, chicken buffet

Okay, let's do it.

A total downer

As I look ahead to the huge changes that are going to be taking place in my life during the next year, I can't help but feel a bit of trepidation about the unknown. Most of you don't know this, but Keith and I are moving to California after the wedding, and we are getting married two weeks afer I graduate from college. Three huge changes all at once for little old me.

Maybe its because I just finished Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking, but I have been thinking a lot lately about the unforeseen changes that happen in life. Everyone has some sort of shocking and painful event that jolts them into survival mode. Something that they never could have prepared themself for.

I often wonder what it's going to be for me. I run scenarios through my mind and try to imagine how I would cope.

Jess and I were talking about this last night. Everyone's worst nightmare is so radically different. Jess was saying that a friend of hers has a fear that one day she will discover that she is infertile. That would be a nightmare for her.

If I were to discover that I was infertile, I'm sure I would grieve a little, but it certainly wouldn't be a nightmare, because I am passionate about adoption. Infertility is not very high on the list of things that I worry about.

My godfather asked me last night if Keith decides someday that he is strongly against the Orthodox faith and refuses to raise our children in the faith, what would I do? I found the question to be unfair, and I had a hard time answering it. I told him that I had no way of knowing that because I am not faced with it. All I can do is go off of the information that I have right now. The information I have now is that he is very supportive of me and respectful of the church and committed to raising our future children in the faith. No one knows what life has in store for them. Getting married is risky, whether or not the person you marry is Orthodox. People change, Orthodoxy is not some kind of fail safe insurance against unknown tragedies. A woman that I grew up with recently separated from her abusive husband. They were both Orthodox, they did everything the 'right' way, and there was no way she could have known what life had in store for her.

I'm just sayin'...

A good representation of what goes on in my brain during class.

Ahh!

Explanation

So that last post? I didn't write it. I was abducted by aliens and one of them posed as me. That's why it is poorly written and full of errors and weird urls. I personally would never write a post that bad.

In other news, I now have a new addiction. Crack. I mean, 24. Oh lordy, I might as well drop all of my classes now, because I have completely lost my focus. I don't eat, I don't sleep, I don't study, I don't blog, I just watch 24. I watched 8 back to back hours of it last night. This is serious.

No time for creativity

Okay okay.

I went to Oklahoma for 24 hours. Well, maybe 27. Anyway, it was my aunt's 50th birthday and my dad and I decided to fly out and surprise her at her party. It was a costume party. I decided to go as a runaway bride and my dad as an old geezer. My cousin Alison was the only person who knew we were coming and she picked us up at the airport and took us shopping for our costumes.



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I was on a quest to find the most hideous bridal gown. I found it. For 8 bucks. My dad easily found some great geezer stuff.

We showed up to the party and Alison went inside, leaving us outside to await her phone call to let us know it was all clear. We planned to run up to the door and then I would call my aunt from the porch and ask her if she had gotten my present. Of course she would say no, and I would ask her to check the porch to see if it was there.

Of course it didhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifn't work out that way.

She wouldn't come out to the porch, so we just rang the doorbell and my couin Andrew ended up opening it. He opened it, said "Oh no" and slammed it again. My dad and I stood there, bewildered, wondering what had just happened.

After what seemed like an eternity, my aunt Janice opened the door and immediately fell apart. It was worth it to see the look of surprise and joy on her face.

Uh, here's another link.

The end.